COVID Diary: My encounter with the virus, writes Arundhati Dutta Choudhury

May 18: An assured catastrophe however assured may it be, is never expected. Amid the surge of nation wide second wave of Corona virus, each and every human soul perhaps alarmingly apprehends a knocking at the door of the disastrous entry of COVID-19 at any moment in one’s life.

Being detected as Covid-19 positive in Rapid Antigen Test (RAT) on 17 May, 2021, I was, as if, engulfed in the invisible chain of which I am a part, though the source might be an impossible search. Listening & experiencing Covid stories and many morbid anecdotes, loss of dear ones and still-suffering tales could not have troubled me to sense the virus as when I felt it’s stealthy progress within me. I sensed the numbness, I felt the shielded pain and the agonizing sleepless hours. Never in life, I had been such optimistic about a forthcoming foe, never had I felt so relieved to welcome the impending disaster.

Then, here it is! That rapid heels of fire, then here it is! The “bottomless pit of Hell” (Milton, Paradise Lost, Book I). The first charm was gallantly accepted, the next few days shall be my untiring negotiations with her sardonic entrails. Let me fight back and I hope I shall be able to do that. Seeking your blessings and best wishes.

Covid is sensed in isolation while the ringing alleys are forsaken, when one feels to be the most unworthy person who has perhaps committed the most nasty crime in one’s life. I sensed the closed windows and the questioning eyes and I was relieved to rest my back at the isolated room arranged for me. It is very difficult indeed to get into terms with one’s viciousness. My touch is not Midas touch rather the cursed touch of Tentalus, so I must be extremely careful not to harm anybody else. Covid increases such a sense of indignity. A castrated self hood in a cloistered roof top Cell is thinking positively to negate another positive strain–very interesting indeed.

Epilogue;

Trees whisper with leafy terrain on the terrace,
And they assure to be with me.
The birds chirp and semi-circle the roof top space,
And they promise to come back tomorrow morn.
Nature sways in might and pride and agrees to stay by me.
Only the human voice distances,
And echoes of bandage fade.

* Arundhati Dutta Choudhury is an Associate Professor & Head, Deptt of English, Radhamadhab College, Silchar. She was tested Covid Positive on 17 May, 2021. Sitting in an isolated room during her home isolation, far away from the madding crowd & even more physically far away from her family, she narrated the state of her mind during the 2nd wave of the coronavirus pandemic.